does this look infected?
by a warrior queen
Summary: The chronicles of three idiots with nothing to do. —Gray, Natsu, Gajeel.
1. that time with the thunder

**dedication: **to gin, tk and rhea. we're like the ft crew, bros.  
**summary: **but why the fuck are you guys still here?  
**notes: **these are all drabbles within the same universe revolving around the epic broship of gray, natsu and gajeel. this one was posted on tumblr, like, two months ago. also thank gin for reinforcing my love for this broship and go read "study hard kids" and "wonderboys". coz i legit read them constantly.

* * *

"You guys suck ass."

Gray glowered, jaw clenching as he began to do his super awesome combo, K.O. Natsu's weak ass and then find some more pizza. But like, how the fuck was he going to do that with Gajeel talking shit every two seconds as if the motherfucker knew what he was running his mouth about.

Like, he's lucky Gray was nice enough to let him into his fucking apartment after the fucking thunderstorm happened. Any other day, Gray would have left that asshole outside, let him be a fucking lightning rod or something.

God, he was fucking hungry.

"Look at you, you're both fucking finger smashing—that's fucking cheating."

"Hey, hey, how about you shut your pie-hole, you goddamn gorilla," Natsu hollered, leaning forwards, tongue sticking out and patience running low.

Gajeel snorted and turned back to the computer.

Something told Gray that all electricity should really be off since lightning was flashing and thunder was a'rumbling consistently and he knew these apes weren't going to pay him back if his goddamn PS3 and his goddamn computer were to get fried.

But then, saying something meant he had to talk and Gray was too hungry to talk.

The room flashed with lightning and someone made a squeak and Gray put it on his girlfriend's sexy legs that it wasn't him.

"Who—"

"No."

"Oh my fucking god, Natsu, did you just fucking squeak like a little girl?!"

"No."

"Oh my god, you did."

"No," Natsu said, dropping the remote upon losing. "I did not squeak like a little girl because that would imply that I'm scared of lightning which I'm—oh, Jesus fucking Christ!"

There was another flash and a booming rumble of thunder.

Gajeel and Gray smirked as Natsu cowered.

"This is fucking great," Gajeel laughed, turning on the spinny-chair and facing the screen again.

Gray dragged himself towards the kitchen counter, flipping the pizza box open and snatching two slices of pizza, vacuuming them up and opening a bottle of beer. "You bitches are gonna need to man the fuck up and leave soon coz Juvia's gonna come over and we're gonna have amazing sex to the beat of the rain and I don't want you morons here. I don't share my women."

"You're disgusting," Gajeel sneered.

Natsu looked up, brown eyes wide. "I ain't going out there, can't you keep it in your fucking pants for once and let us stay?!"

"No."

"C'mon, we can just sit back, drink some beer, eat some pizza and watch some fucking Disney movies."

Gajeel and Gray stared at him with the same expression that basically said that Natsu lost all manly points for being such a pussy and afraid of a little lightning. They turned to stare at each other, eyes half-lidded with their complete boredom of Natsu's failure.

"Drag him out?"

"Drag him out."

"Cool."


	2. that time with the giggles

**dedication: **to pretty flower print doc martens and leggings.  
**summary: **but then gajeel started giggling.  
**notes: **seriously these morons are probably more ridiculous than my naruto!boys, omg.

* * *

Gray was going to kill them. He had all the arsenal he needed to pull it off and if another minute went by with Natsu breaking something, he was going to kill them.

Gajeel dies because he'd be a witness and Gray didn't need witnesses.

He just wasn't drunk enough for this.

With that, he grabbed his beer in chugged it all down without breathing. Maybe that'll go to his head and get him drunk enough to deal with—

"Oops."

Blinking his eyes and turning towards the idiot, Gray kind of almost had a heart attack—Ultear gave him that fucking pitcher as a good luck gift or something he didn't remember! It was their mother's! Or, well, okay, he didn't remember that part. But it was a good chance it was!

"Natsu, 'm going to kill you. Right now."

He blinked again and the world blurred.

Gajeel merely ignored the two, his arm swirling around with force as he whipped up the cake-batter with a concentration that not even Levy in lingerie could break.

"I didn't mean to!' Natsu said, grabbing a bottle of vodka and taking a swig. "They say baking is easier while drunk and I'm reaaaally drunk, Gray. I can't hold my liquor and you know that and I'm reaaaally drunk."

Gray rubbed his temples muttering things under his breath.

Before he could say anything, Gajeel let out one of his obnoxious giggles.

"What?" Gray asked, fearing he shouldn't even bother.

Gajeel whirled around, wobbling in his stance and grinned at them. "I mixed in all the food coloring into the batter and now it looks like _shit_!"

Natsu burst into a fit of laughter which made Gajeel giggle obnoxiously and caused him to successfully elbow the shit-looking cake batter onto Gray's kitchen's floor.

Gray stared for a brief moment, lips parted and gray-blue eyes wide in outrage. But then he snorted, because you know what, it did look like shit and Gajeel's giggles were fucking horrible but he wasn't even drunk enough for this.

So he grabbed the bottle of vodka and chugged it down.


End file.
